Death is not a stranger to this girls door.

Well, here I am now almost two full months into the new year. How is it going with the journey of staying healthy? HAHAHA, that is all relative my dears.

I have been doing a stellar job on keeping my eating habits to that of what my body can properly digest and keep me from having to go down the terrible rabbit hole of parasites. I have been juicing every once in a while. Translation, when I think of it, which is hardly every. I have a SUPER strict intake of regular foods that I eat; salsa, eggs, lettuce, pork, corn chips, sweet peppers, hot sauce and plenty of hot African spice.

All this aside, I have NOT been sticking to this. I have a viable reason for it though. You see eleven days ago my Dad passed away. Now, I am not saying that I am willing to throw away all of my hard work that I have been going after. It is to say I am allowing myself this time of grieving to have comfort foods.

In lieu of this I am counter acting it by running and HITT training every day. There is a dual purpose in this plan. I have a tendency to internalize all my emotions and working out is going to be a healthy outlet for me in this time as I grieve. The added bonus is I will continue to get trimming down and sculpting up.

That is now for all. I have gotten to this place where I am only blogging when I have an importance to share. Hope you feel like you are still with me on this journey and if not that is okay.

R

Today is a day..but not a juicing day

Do you know what my LEAST favorite part about blogging is....It is coming up with a post title. I never feel like the ones I title are that good. It was so much easier when I was juicing. Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, you get what I am saying.

Moving on to things that are of greater importance.

I have just about finished another cycle of a para cleanse. I feel pretty good. I am keeping with doing them at least once a month, which I am fine to do mostly because I still see signs of them lingering around.

My intent is to try a different cleanse than the one I have been using since I found out. I have two reasons for this. First, I do not want my body to get so used to only taking one type of thing. Second, I am still seeing inklings of parasites during the 10-day program. I am intrigued to see if a longer course program would have a more significant result for me.

I understand that there is a process of time that will need to pass in order for my body to even begin to heal; good news is that I REALLY do like eating fruits, veggies, and protien. I admit that sugar is a bit of a struggle from time to time especially on the monthly regular. Ahahaha! I know you are agreeing with me. Seriously, I have found that as I have stuck with eating a more natural diet, refined sugars
 just are not that tasty. Thank you God for balance of taste buds. (however, dang gas station coffees...Sugar Sticks always tempt me).


Anyway, I just thought I would drop in a little note about what is going on with that aspect of things.

I really don't have much else to say.

Have a great night.

R

Coming up from the depths of Hell

The title of this entry is probably the most accurate way to describe what my life has been like since August.

As I had said I found out that internally I had stomach parasites. What I did not realise was that emotionally I was spiraling out of control as well. It has been an interesting experience to see how everything correlates to each other. I CANNOT tell you how much I feel like my eyes have been opened to this fact.

I think that there is a very real, basic need that we all have when we are ill to want comfort. To want someone to care for us, to love us and make us feel secure. The problem is that this can cause some very unnatural dependencies in our relationships with our friends, family or people who frequent our day to day life.  The question that lies here is; How do you keep the balance? Where do you put your foot down, so to speak, to yourself and not allow boundaries to be over stepped?

I wish I could avail to you some wise words of wisdom. Well, I probably could, but truthfully, I won't. Not because I don't think that you, as in the person reading this blog, wouldn't take said advice; I won't because I do not walk in the ways of my own discerning. I allow myself to walk past what I know to be doing. I am weak to put my own foot down to prevent people I care about from getting hurt during the self indulgence of my flesh.

The heart truly is a deceitful place. It is a place where one can be easily fooled and deceived. A place where, when we exposed longings and desires that we hold in it, the heart then quickly tries to find ways to fulfill what has been shared. It allows things that should not be awake to waken. The worst part is that when those things begin to stir, the fight against them to shut down and stop them from dictating our every action is a battle that can cause us to grow weary. It is often in the place of weariness that we then fall prey to vices that, under normal circumstances, would never grab or captivate our attention.

I write this from a place of having been there and done that.

I can say that while I walk alongside God it has been easier and quicker to "recover" from the overly vulnerable place of longing. That He is gracious beyond anything I ever could deserve, and more loving than anyone else I will ever meet. He comes in and meets EVERY single need that gets stirred before it was meant to. He comes in and pours His healing oil over the places of hurt, confusion and disillusionment. He calls out to me in the moments of loneliness to remind me that he is there.

He becomes the one that I learn to listen for when I see the people that grace my path everyday and week. He is the one that teaches me what the balance is in my relationships. He is the one who helps to restore health to me. He is the one that I cannot actually live my day to day without leaning into. My safe place where I can be as intense as he created me to be and not worry that it is too much for someone, or that another being will try to "take on" my worries.

I wish I could pointedly say the levels of remorse I have to the people I have hurt by not being balanced; by not sticking with gut feelings in moments and thinking that I could handle it all in my own understanding.

Unfortunately, I do not get that chance. Whether it is needed or not is a moot point. It would not change the fact that damage has been done. That relationships have suffered. That wounds are real.

No, the truth is, to pursue any of those people would only actually make the healing process harder, more drawn out and possibly painful.  It wouldn't allow for a separation, it would continue to bring confusion around the issue at hand.

I know that it could seem hard to continue on with your daily life with such an incident happening, but the truth is time and space really do help. They allow for perspective to come in where it could have been muddled. That my friends, if it is okay to call you that, is the most precious gift that is granted to us. If we can be brave enough to really look at ourselves during times like this and let our hearts be soft to the correction and change that most likely need to occur, we grow and come out ahead on the tail end of all.

I know that this could be received as straying from what my blog normally is, but I do believe that health is not something that is just physical.

Much love,

Rebecca

Sugar is the devil

Well, it seems to be a very slow process to recovery. I have been eating my veggies and proteins. Trying hard to stay away from sugar! Gah, today I felt well for the majority of the day. Until dinner, I had a bowl of cereal. That was a mistake, a HUGE mistake. I chased it down with some raw garlic, my supplements and three glasses of water. I am hoping that it all settles it self out in a little while.

I have NOT been doing any work outs this week. I really have only been trying to let my body settle down and fight off all of the junk that has been running around in there.

This is a really boring post. I have nothing left in me for the day. I am going to go curl up with a blanket, a glass of water, a box of tissue and a good old fashion tear jerking kind of movie.

Have a good night All!

love,
Rebecca

Here is #thegood, #thebad, #theugly...

Well, I finally have a little bit of down time in my life to give a full update on what has been happening!  Have I continued to work out in my grand scheme of getting fit? Have I continued on eating well? Have I found a solid road to getting healthy to walk upon?

Those all seem like wonderful questions to me...and yet they all feel overwhelming to answer. I know they are just words on this blog, letters mashed together that appear to only be little things in black and white (only because I am too boring to change the color of the fonts), but the truth is there is SO much behind those questions.

I will start off by saying, "YES". I have continued to workout. Everyday in fact, you see I work in a warehouse. By default, I work out; I lift at least 500-1,000 pounds (honestly, it is probably more) while I audit inventory. I bike three times a week to and from work. That is a ride that is just under 7 miles as an out and back. I run just under 2 miles the other three days a week. I have been going for many long mile walks in the evenings, helps to be living close to the lake. I did a month of HIIT (high intensity interval training). I still pull on some of that when I am dogging around at night.

YES, I have continued to eat well. When I had food in my house, more than just eggs, peanut butter almonds and rice, I would prep meals in advance to be able to take them for lunch to work. I would come home and make chicken and have a salad.  I learned how to cook veggies that I had never had before. I ate apples, oranges, bananas, avocados, grapes, pears until the cows came home. I thrived on this delicious food that I would make. I ALWAYS felt hungry, even after having a wonderful meal.

So, have I found a solid road to getting healthy? I sure thought I had...

So in all of these months that have passed by since May, I have at least maintained my weight. I have spent months post juicing, and prior, feeling bloated. I have been assuming it is due to food allergies or a past issue I had with my gall bladder. I attributed other slight issues I had to having been so sweaty from working out or from getting to hot in the warehouse. Not having air condition at home to cool down at night. Little did I know that there was something far worse going on inside of me.

Let's jump back to a week ago....

Now I am not normally a checker of my bowel movements, but on Thursday last week I just had the notion to do so. Typically, there is nothing there, meaning nothing noticeable that cause alarm to us when we take a peak at our stool. I wish I could have been that lucky on that day. Alas, not, I happen to find TWO flat opaque looking things in my stool, both about two inches in length! My initial thought was I haven't eaten anything that could look like that, Oh God, please don't let it be some kind of a parasite!

So, I did what any of us would do...I googled it! I read up on parasites felt I hadn't found any conclusive evidence to support it was nor wasn't and was like okay, well, let's move on. Then on Sunday, my roomie says to me seemingly out of nowhere "you know garlic is real good for you? It will kill of stomach parasites and aid in digestion" I was blown away by her bringing this up. I hadn't mentioned a thing to her. In fact, I had not mentioned anything to anyone about the dang things I saw in my stool. I walked away from that conversation and decided to pray. I had ask God for wisdom about what I saw on Thursday, but surely this cannot be it.

Then on Monday, which was off because of Labor Day, I went out of town for the day. For lunch I got a salad, with chicken, dried cranberries and a raspberry vinaigrette. Sounds like that should have been a great little lunch, right? Ha! With in an hour of eating it, my stomach had really began to bother me, it had bloated out! FROM A SALAD!!! GIVE ME A BREAK!
Well, that night I came home and said to my roommate, "What do you know about parasites?" She handed me a natural medicine book and I looked them up. As I read through symptoms I started to realise that I have been experience almost ALL of them. Bloating, nausea, itching near the bum (had figured to be hemorrhoids up til now), etc. al.

I started that night with garlic treatment. Meaning I inserted a clove of garlic into my rectum. Then next morning the things I saw in my stool shocked me! I was in disbelief. I told myself, we will just give it a go and see if this does any thing. Well, by the second day of treating I had a noticeable difference in my waist line...really I wasn't bloating. See, I had also read that if I did have parasites, that they thrive off of carbs and refined sugar. I cut that out of the diet ASAP! I was starting to feel "normal" until that night with dinner. I had sweet potatoes. Ya'll I swear those like jerks were having a field day in my tummy! I bloated up almost right away. Still doing the garlic treatment (3 raw cloves during the day, one in the bum at night), and getting put on some supplements to start killing them off.

I can tell you that my stool had little guys in them for days. That next night I felt great when I got home from work. I was CRAVING sugar like CRAZY! I was afraid to try some but there is so much fruit in my house I don't want it all to go bad. I thought, well, I will try three little bites of watermelon. BAD IDEA!!! Hebeegeebees GALOR! Man alive, I just wanted to reach my hand down my throat and pull out my insides.

I am now on an intense program to kill this IDIOTS! I am hoping that after this is all done for that I will feel well again. I have been frustrated that there has not been significant change due to the diet that I have gotten back to eating and the amount of exercise I have doing, but with parasites in me, HOW COULD THERE BE!

There we have it. That is how I have been doing. any questions?

R

A late night "Hello"...

Listen, here is the truth. I am out of practice. I am not disciplined to be filling out everyday again! What the heck!?


Okay, so, I have been awake since 430 AM and it is now 1151 PM. I don't have a whole lot of brain power left to be telling much of anything right now. :/ this really makes me sad because I want to bring you all up to speed on where I am in my progress of running from HELLthy living.

I will say this much for now; I need to go to sleep because 730 AM comes quick and I do NOT want to be too short on sleep for tomorrow.

I will try to get a video up tomorrow too. Perhaps I will have figured out why it was not posting the other day.

Do any of you have any questions that I could address in my post tomorrow?

Love, Rebecca

Long awaited Return!!

AHHHHHHHH!!!! there was going to be a video but it is not UPLOADING! Okay, well, HI!

I AM BACK! WOOOO! okay, maybe that is a bit too much excitment. Look for a well updated post from me tomorrow about what I have been doing since my last post all the way back in May.

Love to you who have followed this thing even though I dropped off the radar for a while.

Love, Rebecca